BookBug's World…

reading, writing, crocheting, living….


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lost my muse?

Not that nothing happens in life – lots happens.

I just, I don’t know, can’t keep up?

Or, more precisely, have I caught the “what’s-the-point”-bug…?

No idea.

I know I’ll be back… Maybe sooner than later, I don’t know.

Writing this just in case someone would be passing by and wonder…

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Logging the Lag…

Not proud of such a long non-writing period… had so many ideas, especially while running. I thought I’d continue my story, started way back almost 2 years ago… Then Christmas came and I thought for sure I’d have some time to write at least some Christmas wishes… Nope. Didn’t happen.

Life happened though. I had my very first at work evaluation and that wasn’t pretty. I felt like a huge roller went over me and squished me down  to the ground. Got blamed for stuff wasn’t my fault. Things got thrown at me, stuff I failed at, only that I hadn’t idea those were my duties. Tried to defend myself, only to get shut up by the boss. Oh there was a positive I’ve heard. I’ve got potential. Just after that, so it won’t build any hope – there was a “but”. “You’ve got potential, but you’re not using it”.
Nevermind.

Enough to say it took me over 2 weeks  to get up. Next few to find my motivation again. Because, Mr.Boss, negative motivation is, in fact “anti-motivation”. You should know that by now.

 

My running suffered, my reading took a hit as well. I failed to reach 60 books for 2016. Yet another failure. And another.

But I’m getting back. To running (though just 1-2 times a week so far…), to reading (aiming for 60 again, am 2 books ahead so far 😉 ).
And – hopefully to writing 🙂

So – hope to write again soon! (Info in case there still will be anyone to read it 😉 )


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not-so-random thoughts…

so I’m here…

now

sweet’n’sour my new favourite taste…

or bitter-sweet…

how is it, that something you really want and look for for 12, long years

when you get it

all of a sudden it unloads some serious weight on your heart…

how to explain to myself that I am not hurting my kids by not being there every single second of their lives… that I actually am doing what the mother is supposed to do… let them figure some stuff on their own… give them space…

and

how come they grow so fast…

 


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all sorts of beautiful…

I’m running, I’m reading.

And I’m working.

Lots is happening.

I’m missing writing though… Stories are buzzing in my head… All those I never finished – the Beyond series from last year… (Beyond… ; Beyond… #2 ; Beyond #3 ; Beyond #4 ; Beyond #5 …), story I started for NANOWRIMO…
Haven’t written a poem for ages…

Well.

Being responsible, working grown-up sucks sometimes…


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Busy thoughts…

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Lots of happening. G00d, bad and so-so. And stuff that was both. In a short period of time. Like the time when my Big Sis came to visit (haven’t seen her in 2 years). Great 2 weeks. And then she had to go home. Boo.

Party number one, two and who knows.

June that came packed with action to the brim.

May that passed who knows where…

But all was beat into pieces, when the news came from across the ocean…

One of my high-school bestie’s husband died in a car crash.

As in died – was killed… I mean, come on? 42? Calm, not drinking, happy and happily married? Father of 3? HIM?

So of course the question was – how in the world….???

The answer so stupid. Heart problems. Most likely heart attack behind the steering wheel. Two boys in the car came out of it with no major damage – a broken leg and some scratches. Bruises probably as well. No other car was involved. Just like him, living in a way that nobody gets hurt. Dying…

Except that now his Wife and Kids are hurt big time.

And the Twin Brother, who was supposed to be the one to go there and then, on that trip, with these boys…

She showed up on FB the other day… And I was just choking up…

I mean – what do you say to a person (nevermind that that person is a friend…) whose world just crushed into bits? Nothing came to my mind anyways 😦

Except that I let her know I’m here. Far away, but as close as the click of the keyboard and internet connection…

Hate being so helpless…


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X is for…

x Yet another letter of the alphabet tough for me 🙂

From the school days, X was always the unknown 🙂 the number to search for. The equation to solve.

Following that thought – probably that’s why it meant the spot where treasure was on the pirate maps? Meaning the unknown, the promise, the riddle to solve…

In Polish language, additionally, there is a saying “postawic na kims krzyzyk” (seems close to English: “to ‘x’ someone out” but not sure if completely)- to cross someone out, to give up trying to make a decent person out of someone, or give up trying to convince someone about something 🙂